You won’t believe the headache I have! Let me tell you about my day.
Early this morning, somebody plucked me out of my box. My fellow friends and I wailed in despair because we were naked, wearing nothing more than our zinc coating. We fell into a nail pouch strapped around some teenager’s waist. As this dude walked outside into freezing temperatures, he grabbed a few of us and threw us at the legs of the girl who apparently asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. The young lady screamed and the boy and his friends laughed.
At this point the teacher yelled, “Hey kids! Stop goofing around and get back to work!” The young lady shoved me into her pocket with a bunch of stranger nails that must have been manufactured in a different factory because they all spoke a different language than me. She climbed up the ladder and onto the roof, strapped on a roofing harness and received some direction from one of the instructors about how to properly install some metal roof edging.
One by one, she pulled each of my new friends out of her pocket and attempted to install the metal roof edging by hitting their poor little nail heads. After the young lady lightly tapped each nail on the head three to four times, she grabbed her hammer like she was about to hit a home run with a baseball bat. She swung with all her might and each time managed to launch my friends into the parking lot. I watched in horror as my fellow nails rocketed off the roof to a certain death. Who knew what awful future awaited them? She finally picked me out of her pocket and proceeded to tap, tap, tap me, then whack my head with unbelievable force. OUCH! I flew through the air and landed on a stack of shingles piled neatly alongside the house. I have to thank those shingles because I really do believe they saved my life! Although I am scraped up, bruised, and battered with my spirit broken, I still feel like I am one of the lucky ones who survived.
I tell this story because I want rights for all nail kind. We, the nails of Geometry in Construction, intend to form a union because we are tired of the inhumane treatment we receive in this program.
If you think this is bad, just wait until you get the letter from the legal team of the screws!
